Saturday, August 29, 2009

what's my deal?

i've been in and out of a funk the last few weeks mostly due to many of the events in and surrounding my life had me thinking and praying a lot, but i didn't feel like i could write about them yet. however, here's a snap shot of some the things that seemed to occur all within a short window of time: work has been completely, utterly overwhelming which makes my feel like i'm spending less time with my Posse and not being 'all there' for everyone in my home (and that is one of my top priorities, ya know?!), my blog pal MckMama's baby, Stellan, was not doing well and that had me praying and pondering, only to then get a call from my friend and fellow natropathic medicine researcher & user and dad to sweet Jaymun that Jaymun wasn't doing well and the CNS leukemia was bad to say the least, my Man's car died and was beyond the point of repair and he couldn't find another that he liked in the price range we wanted, i am in the midst of some ministry changes at church and trying to see where God wants me, the kids are starting school and how am i supposed to find time to do all the shopping for new clothes and supplies, will i be able to squeeze in a few more fun outings before school, had a middle of the night emergency room visit due a resurgence of the sickness & pain i have dealt with over the last year or so.... i could keep going but i won't, i'm looking over this and it's kinda a downer.

however, i serve a great big, huge amazing God who is not just lounging around in the clouds completely caught off guard by the current trials and stress in my life. my cries for discernment and understanding, rescue and relief are not a news-flash to Him.

'For I know the plans I have for,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29.11

even when i feel like all is lost and i want to crawl in a hole and just keep myself safe from all the potentially sad & difficult situations that this life has, that's not want God intended for me. Christianity is not about safety but is about freedom. the real freedom that comes with serving and surrendering my life to Jesus, even when it's hard, stressful, overwhelming, you get the point.

and with trials, large & small, comes a great testimony of the Lord's grace and provision, if i stick with Him and walk by faith then i get the pleasure of seeing the His fingerprints all over my life! let me show you:

my job:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as work for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3.22-23

most days i can honestly say that i really do enjoy my job, but the last 8 weeks or so have, oh what's the word..... sucked!!!! i'm not opposed to hard work and i think that change is a good thing, the changes in my office were a large adjustment, and it felt suffocating with a the over-the-top amounts of paperwork to complete each day, multiple meetings without any purpose, aaarrrggghhh!! and while i still am not totally onboard with the new requirements that fall under my job description, the Lord has given me extra energy when i was ready to throw-in the towel, put me in touch with business owners when i really needed an answer, grace with my managers. my days are still longer than i would prefer, but this career of mine is not permanent and i can't wait to share some upcoming changes and the Lord's leading in this area in a post very soon.....

less time and my 'not all there' feelings for my Posse and my Man:

...train the [younger] women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2. 4-5

Her children arise and call her blessed... Proverbs 31. 28a

because of the high demands of my job right now i am feeling much pressure and guilt that i have not had the adequate time to devote to my Posse and my Man. i hate feeling like my big kiddos didn't have a truly amazing summer vaca because i didn't have the time to take them to SDC more, or have more movie days, we were at the park quite a bit and the pool and they both had church camp for a week each and sports camps and piano lessons.... they had a good but rather uneventful summer. i know that this is not all bad, but i wanted more for them and more time spent with them! then of course the house was kind of chaotic and messy than i'd prefer since the big kids were running the show with 'P' as the babysitter of 'Lou-Who'. and let me say that he did a great job taking care of 'Lou-Who' for a few hours each morning while i was at the office. they spent time reading and playing together, doing their chores, having some lazy time in front of the television and so on. but i wanted to be here more, i don't like getting home late and getting 'K' from the nanny and then rushing around to get dinner made and then cleaned up, etc. of course not every day was like this and i am overly organized in our family schedule and we just planned as best we could for the longer days. i despise the aura of hurriedness in our afternoons and evenings, and i will admit that once i feel hurried and stressed nothing is really right for the reminder of the day.

do you ever just feel saddened by what you want/dream for and what you have to endure in the present? i have prayed more than a few times this summer for the Lord to help me be the best mama that my Posse needs and fill me with energy and physical strength, give me insight and words to lift up my family and bless them with my service to them, even if some of that service is providing for them outside the homestead.

when i have days like this, i would & do have to step back and get ahold of my thoughts and my tongue and make choices to edify my Posse and my Man. my attitude and words will either bring life or death to my family, so i must stay close to my Jesus. i'm ashamed to say that many times my stress makes my words louder and more harsh than i'd like, and thus where i need to take my kiddos in hand and say i'm sorry and i will do better, with the Lord's help. i'm reminded that i need to be a Mary at the feet of Jesus allowing Him to pour into me so i can pour out on my babes, instead of Martha who is OCD about whether the dinner is done at 6p sharp

'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.' Luke 10.41-42

the questions, concerns and uncertainity for friends with sick little ones:

I will restore your health and heal you of your wounds. Jeremiah 30.17

i will admit to that i felt such a burden when cutie baby Stellan was in the hospital a few weeks back with a terrible prognosis & health that was quickly decreasing. i was overcome with questions as to why the Lord was not intervening yet and praying for healing for Stellan like a crazy person. and then little Jaymun was back in the hospital out of the blue with the horrifying news that the cancer had relapsed, again. and i was overwhelmed with grief for him and the whole Kaat family.

does the Lord lay situations and families on your heart that you are to hold up in prayer? these two families are amazing and i (like thousands of others) am called to intercede to the Father on their behalf, holding them up and laying it all at the feet of Jesus, praying without ceasing for the healings that Stellan and Jaymun need. believing by faith that the Lord is true to His Word that He is our Healer!!

i am so happy and ectastic to report that Stellan was saved from the current danger with his broken heart and you can always check in on him at his mommy's blog!!! within just a few days the Lord rescued him from a perilous run of SVT. it was amazing to literally watch a miracle be performed right in front of my eyes!! i've got goose-bumps! and sweet Jaymun is not out of the woods, however he is defying the odds for a third time, yes i said this is his third bout of leukemia and he's only three. what 10+ treatments couldn't fix with his CNS relapse before, this time through the leading and mercy of Jesus, the chemo mixed with herbs and other natural medicines has gotten the blasts down to ZERO!!! he is in need of our prayers and petitions because despite great test results he is back in the hospital tonight with a possible infection that could cause menigitisis. thank you Jesus for hearing our cries, for being so near to your children that are brokenhearted and sick, but we are not defeated because you Lord are our victory!!

my Man's car died:
completely unable to be fixed. darn.... it was an unwanted stress to have to go out and buy a car that we did not intend to. and while it was a difficult two weeks of searching and praying and questioning what to do and why? the Lord heard and provided a near brand new SUV for my hubby at a low, low cost. thank you Jesus for caring about all the details of our life.

i know that your retinas are bleeding profusely at this point and i'm going to wrap this up, promise scout's honor!!

all of this to hopefully encourage your heart and soul today with the promise that the Lord wants to bless your life and He brings hope when you feel none. here's my two cents though: don't rely on your feelings, they will lie to you every time. if i only made dinner when i felt like it, it is quite possible that my Posse might never eat! i will serve the Lord regardless of how i feel because it says in His Word that He will never leave me or forsake me!! i might feel crushed and squished down by all the trials and hardships this earthly life brings, but this place, earth, is not my home, it is only temporary, and i am living for eternity!!!

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever, AMEN (emphasis is all me!) Ephesians 3.20-21


for your viewing pleasure for sticking it out through that long post... baby 'K' snuck into 'Lou-Who's tent where her babies were sleeping and he wanted to feed them. he is so stinkin' cute!!!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Thanks for stopping by, hope you enjoy!

So you forgot to give the kids their vitamins for the last month, and maybe the kidlets are still in their pajamas at 3:00 in the afternoon… we all have those days, weeks and months! Not Me! Monday is the ingenius creation of super-blogger, MckMama, as an opportunity to talk about all the things we of course have not done this week.

My cute Posse of Kiddos and I had a busy week with my Man out of town for business, so I did not let them eat at a fast food restaurant 2 times, nope!!! I am totally organic and all natural all the blessed time and would never be so lazy as to purchase not real hamburgers and greasy fries from a clown in red shoes! If I had, I most certainly did not thoroughly enjoy the taste of the trans-fat grease of the fries…ahem…

Big ‘K’ started potty training this week!! Yea! But since we all know that he is the most perfect and obedient child and so willing to just hop up on the potty and pee in there, I would never use peanut butter m&ms to bribe him on and off that toilet. Never ever….and I did not have to clean up some poo off the living room floor and explain to ‘K’ that “we also put our poo in the potty”. I know that you’re giggling, I would have to if this had obviously not happened.

The big kids went back to school this week (yea!!!!! This is my ‘inside’ voice cheering) and nothing terribly momentous occurred within the first three days until Friday as I walked in to remind Masta’P’ to stop hitting the snooze button and he did not say something hateful to me as he pulled the covers over his head. He is absolutely the most perfect son and would never be so dumb inconsiderate as to get crabby with me. And if we were having a rough morning, we might have had a minor wardrobe meltdown with ‘Lou-Who’ because the “shoes not match and now it doesn’t look pretty!!!!” and not that it was followed by many tears and distress…anyway..

I totally feel better about all of this stuff, especially since I did not really experience any of these things! If you want to jump in and have some Not Me! Monday fun, that’d be great! Head over to
MckMama’s blog and link up there.

Have a blessed day.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1.9

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

and then there was one...and mama

*NOTE TO SELF: i began this post on wednesday and got busy and a whole host of other things, but this never got published, so i didn't want to go back and change the tense of the post, just forgive my forgetfulness, thanks! your the best!!

as i sit here chopping neatly nibbling on organic strawberries, carrots and mixing in a few sourdough pretzel nibblets, my thoughts are bouncing wildly inside of my brain. i've had a lot on my mind and a lot in my schedule recently (hence the lack of witty posts! giggle), so if this comes out in a jumbled mess, i ask for your forgiveness now....thanks for understanding.

today was the first day of school here in our little city in Fly Over Country USA!! wow, i can hardly believe it is time for school again, and all the things that come with a fresh new year: crisp new clothes and spotless shoes, empty backpacks and jiggly little brains ready to soak up some knowledge, along with a joke about burping or new slang (as soon as i get up to speed on what a new word means and learn to use it effectively, my big kids have a new one for me, geez!). the morning went beautifully, if i do say so myself and i will!! i got up at 5:20am, showered, was greeted in the shower by Big 'K' to come tell me good morning, got 'K' watching a "moobie" (that's how he says movie, isn't it too cute?!!), got my makeup and hair done as i heard 'P's alarm going off at 6:00am, and by the time i got my clothes on and knocked on his door he was dressed with shoes on and everything!! praise the Lord for a morning without having to threaten nicely ask my child to get up.

okay where was i, oh yes, so the boys and i headed down stairs for some breakfast and to let the mammoth puppy out to potty. i won't bore you with what we had for breakfast but then 'Lou-Who' girlie was up, i didn't have to beat snuggle her into the land of the living, so got her dressed (we pre-approved all wardrobe choices last night to avoid the any potential for drama this morning, smart mama!!) and we had Master 'P' to school 15 minutes early and everything!!!

this was good because we still had to feed my girlie and fix her locks of pretty brown hair plus get the babe dressed and his stroller into the truck, i had pta duty this morning to greet the kiddos on this first day back and label their cute hands with how they were getting home this afternoon.

my sweet girl got to talk with and hug all her friends we hadn't seen in a few weeks and walk around school (since we were there 45 minutes early),

and my baby was unusually quiet and well-behaved in his stroller playing with his music mixer (best toy ever!!) and playing with rocks.

after all school kiddos were labeled and a few pictures snapped of my 'Lou-Who' at her desk, 'K' and i met up with some other mommies at a local pastry & coffee house for some 'Big People' time. it was fun, but then it was just the two of us, heading home without Bubba & Zissy (per 'K'). we've played with cars, and took a walk, well i pushed the tricycle and 'K' half pedaled but mostly rode along and we had to stop often to collect another precious rock, we colored, listened to some rockin' praise music, ate a yummy lunch and then nap!! thank you Jesus for naps, what a blessing they can be. we'll be off soon to pick up 'P' and swing by the redbox for the Hannah Montana movie to suprise the girlie when we go by and pick her up!!

i have much anticipation for this next school year for my kiddos, it is an opportunity for them to not only grow in what they will learn from history books but grow as a person. as moms and dads we can forget the difficulty that comes with 6th grade (the struggles do assist in turning our babes into independent & brainy big kids though); struggles such as juggling school and sports, and then how to deal with the guys and girls out on the playground, exploring and asking questions the opposite gender, and so on. and the 2nd grade is no walk in the park: beginning to do more for yourself, for the girls the ever-present recess drama (oh man!!), asking the hard questions like: "why isn't so-n-so's daddy live with at there house anymore" or "why do some kids not have enough to eat". maybe your 7 year old doesn't ask these things but 'Lou-Who' is curious and concerned about all the injustices of the world. i pray that i will be able to guide and nurture my children through these seasons of their young lives in a Godly and loving manner that will lead them to a real-life faith & reliance in Jesus and to finding that their true joy comes from the Lord.


in the midst of all the hurriedness and chaos of preparing and starting back to school, the posse and my Man were able to take some time to battle with the Light Sabers to relieve the pressure. i am fairly certain that 'K' won, he is intense when he is playing 'Hi-Ya'...hee hee, so cutie!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

just a smidge...

i love lists and organization and things alphabetized and color-coded... oooohhh, my heart is skipping just thinking about my organized by aisle grocery list!!! jealous?!! well don't be, i will share with you what i'm making for dinner for the next two weeks and this week i'll go step by step for a one of my favs so you can copy and paste onto your shopping list. see how i love ya!
okay, here's what i have planned:
*whole wheat pasta arrabbiata with tomatoes & arugula (i use spinach instead)
*vinegar & honey chicken with creamy dijon smashed potatoes
*pot roast with new red potatoes & baby carrots and fresh green beans
*lemon poppy chicken with mint couscous
*chicken enchiladas
*manicotti with spinach salad
*chicken parmesan (my Man's absolute fav and very easy, restaurant's totally over charge for this dish!)
*taco pie in a pan (we had this tonight)
*chicken casserole
*baked salmon & cranberry/walnut couscous
*pizza (this is a must have, and if i don't feel like supermom and make it from scratch we order from pizza hut, they do have an all natural ingredient pizza... not that we always order that one..)
*ranch & cheese hamburgers with homemade fries (i can attribute the inspiration for this entire meal from my very bestest-est friend, might as well be my twin sister, ms.S...oooohhh secretive!)
see, none of these dishes are overly difficult for mom's to put on the table, and your cute little (or big) families can eat organic/all natural food that is actually good for their and your bodies!!
alright, a top pick of mine is the chicken enchiladas, so here's my recipe for them... feel free to modify however you like:
you'll need:
1# chicken breasts
1 jar of salsa - i buy a big jar - whatever brand or level of heat that you prefer
1-16oz sour cream
1 to 2 cups of Monterrey/jack cheese
1 pkg of 10 burrito size tortilla shells
preheat your oven to 375 degrees and i use a 13x9 casserole dish and spray with my pam organic olive oil spray. now you can do this next step several ways: to save time for me i tend to grill or baked up my chicken breasts earlier in the week when i'm baking another meal and i've already got the oven/grill going, regardless cook your chicken and cut/shred. are you followin' me? great!! let's progress to getting the tortillas shells prepared: i get a pie pan or large bowl out and pour half or so of the salsa into the bowl. get your tortilla shells and soak the shells in the salsa, get them all covered in the tomato/onion/cilantro/pepper goodness and let them sit and soak it up!! this allows the shells to not tear once i fill them and roll them. alright, let's make the filling! in a separate dish pour the remainder of the salsa, half to three-quarters of the sour and all the chicken in and mix it up. now it doesn't look all that great, when i made this the first time and my Man walked into the kitchen i would not let him look at it 'cause i knew he wouldn't eat it but it tastes amazing. we're almost there, this is pretty easy, huh? get your casserole dish in front of you and pull out a tortilla shell and lay it flat in the casserole dish or wherever you please and you're going to fill your shell with about a 1/3 cup (more or less) with our salsa/sour cream/chicken filling, and then roll it up!! and put it in your casserole dish, and you will of course repeat this 9 more times and you'll have a very full dish!! your shells should fit perfectly in, they are almost exactly 9 inches long. finally you will then spread the remaining sour cream all over the top of the enchiladas, this make them so yummy!! put as much as you want within reason because the best part is coming: the cheese!!!! yea!!! cover the entire dish with cheese and then add a smidge more for good measure.
pull open your warm little oven and tent some foil over that masterpiece and bake for about 20 minutes, then remove the foil and bake just a smidge more 'til the cheese starts to get a little golden on the edges..
wipe up your drool and put this one on your list!!!

Not Me! Monday

did you leave the clean laundry piled up on the bedroom floor for a week a couple days hoping it would fold itself? have to forgotten to brush your toddler's teeth for the last few nights before bed? is that take-out for the third night in a row?! no worries!!! Not Me! Monday was the wonderful creation of super-blogger and friend MckMama, as a way to air our not-so-fresh laundry and not feel like the only mom/wife who struggles... i'm ever so excited that you've stopped by to visit me, be sure to check back in tonight for a plethora of organic menu ideas and a link to some free music!!

okay, where to begin....

i have so not fallen off the face of my blog here, nope!! i have all the time in the world to keep up with all the posts i've started and i would never just stop writing and posting my musings for your reading pleasure. if i was to get so freakin' busy that i don't know which way is up or who's on first, i would take the time to explain to my faithful what has happened to me.... so maybe there is a post ready in the wings that will enlighten you to my last couple of weeks, not that i've been sidetracked!!

i did not have an amazing, fabulous hair appointment this week with my brand new hair specialist, Karen, and i definitely did not cut a ton of hair off and get it colored. if i had done that i would have consulted all family and friends to ensure they wouldn't be completely shocked after the fact. however, if i were to get an awesome new cut i might take a pic and post it for all your viewing pleasure....hhhmmmm, guess you'll have to see

while my Man and Master 'P' and lil' Lou-Who and i were volunteering with our church on saturday doing some painting at a local school, my cutie girl did not mess around and back into the wall she was painting, covering her little backside is beige paint!!! i am a totally responsible mama who has a perfect little 7 year old who knows how to paint like a pro without ruining her clothes...

i did not send my mammoth puppy into a fit of sneezing and the need to shove his snout into his bowl of water. no way!! he is the perfect 90 pound great dane puppy that would never try to dig his way under the fence, and so i would never try to discourage him by filling the holes with tons and tons of pepper... no one call p.e.t.a. because of course i'd never do that. stupid dog....

alright, i feel much better. if you'd like to post your own Not Me! Monday then stop what you're doin' and visit MckMama's blog to link up your own post. i'm dying to read it, so hurry up!!

and if you're feelin' really sassy and want to know what i'm doing at any given moment be sure to check out my Twitter updates in the right sidebar and sign up to follow me... tune back in later tonight for some good recipes/menu ideas and whatever else happens to be on my mind!!

be blessed...