Friday, September 2, 2011

cruisin' into the fall...

so we've made it to the end of the first trimester....yay!!! the consistent nausea is not as consistent and the getting up 5 times a night to go to the bathroom is down to about one time, so i'll take this much desired relief and cruise into the second trimester. i got to hear my babe's heartbeat yesterday! i love love that sound!! so's hard to believe that 14 weeks have already gone by

i don't have a ultrasound pic of my own for 13-14 weeks (wouldn't it be so amazing to have one every couple weeks to see the baby?!) but i found this one and while i'm completely sure my lil' gummi bear is more beautiful, this will do :)

the big kiddos are back in school, just starting week 4, and 'K' is happily soaking up all the one-on-one attention. i really wasn't quite ready for them to go back just yet, but i was ready to stop hearing the hum of the PlayStation3 and disney channel and arguments about who double bounced who on the trampoline...on purpose.

cute picture of my posse of the kiddos at my brother-in-law's wedding a few months ago...just thought i'd share how awesome they looked :)

i started a new business from home (in addition to all the crafting stuff i already do, like this super cute purse/bag i made)

and i'm really loving it....but i'll do a separate post about that soon, okay?

hhhmmmmmm.....what else can i say is happening? i've been laying back and resting in the presence of God and His Grace, seeking to trust Him with all the changes that are happening and forthcoming. really been working on accepting His gift of unconditional love in a way i know i never have in my 20+ years of salvation. let's just say that it's liberating to truly serve and believe on Christ knowing & reminding myself that His love & blessing for me has nothing to do with me and what i give Him but is a demonstation of His blinding awesomeness!!! His faithfulness!!! that's pretty amazing and noteworthy don't ya think?!

my prayer for you this week (and month for that matter)is that you would slow down, close your eyes and take note of the graces, gifts, blessings that surround you, give thanks to Him who is the Giver and snuggle in a bit closer to the One who loves you more than we can ever comprehend.

be blessed....

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

He is so good to me...

its officially been a lifetime since i last wrote anything on this poor blog.....

however one thing has NOT changed: i am still and forever more will be a very Blessed Mama!!!

when i last left you we were celebrating the new little life growing inside me! babe #4 is such a part of this mama's heart and soul and a faith-renewing miracle!! and i can whole-hearted yell and proclaim that from the mountain tops....

...even though our sweet babe is now a beautiful angel basking in the Glorious presence of our Lord.

losing a child, be it during pregnancy or stillbirth or as an infant, is horrific to put it nicely. it didn't help us when the head physican in the ultrasound department said that as many as 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. i realize he was trying to help, give me sterile soliace that this wasn't my fault and it happens all the time. didn't really sit well with me, this losing my baby doesn't happen to me "all the time."

but my God is so good!!! MY GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

i kept repeating that, hypnotizing myself really, for the next few painful days. i knew it was true, God is faithful and awesome and so, so good, and i was not going to let myself blame Him or lose sight of His heart for me.

He knew what the doctor would see on the ultrasound, no surprise to Him no matter how much this surprised me.

i will hold my precious, God-crafted and designed Baby Angel someday in will be breath-taking!!

that was the middle of may....

fast forward to today, tuesday the 9th of august 2011

this is our gorgeous baby #5...little gummi bear (this is my nickname for all our wee little babes) is 9 weeks old, perfectly squishy and healthy, developing splendidly and due to greet us in march of 2011

my God is so big, so strong and so mighty...there's nothing my God can not do!!!

Friday, March 11, 2011

he takes my breath away....

I’ve seen “those” movies…. You know the ones with overly romance guys, whoo-ing the girl with extravagant surpises: he’s standing in the doorway with flowers waiting to whisk her off on romantic jaunts, every moment planned just for her.

I giggle at these scenes in movies because it does not depict the typical, everyday life of the married couple. Not because the husband is a self-absorbed jerk or the wife is undeserving, but life is busy with jobs and the home and the kiddos and church and extended family and blah, blah, blah…. You know where I’m headed, right?!

And I am not a woman who shies away from acknowledging her birthday (today is my birthday, just fyi…), I am completely comfortable with my age of 33 and loving every (almost) minute of it. The Lord has seen fit to give me another breath, another day, another year in which to live each glorious, gifted moment to His ultimate Glory…. And I had big plans for today, BIG! The kiddos just started spring break, so we had the whole day to hang, enjoy the beautiful weather, maybe go out for dinner when my Man got home from work, it was gonna be wonderful.

Then the completely unexpected occurred……

He went for Man of the Decade today (ssshhhhh….nobody tell him that he had already won it, hands down!!)….. It was right out of a movie…..

A knock at the front door about 10:00am…. I open it to find him, my Man, my utterly wonderful husband standing at the front door holding 18 gorgeous roses (in all the most magnificent colors)!! We embrace, we kiss…..

I stammer something about how he should be at work and what’s he doing and these flowers are gorgeous and you are wonderful and joy rolls down my cheeks…..

This Man takes my breath away sometimes

He has arranged for someone, my sister (in-law), to be my ‘lady-in-waiting’ for the day, they will arrive at 11:00am to head to the first of many (many is an understatement) schedules appointments, just for me….

Could this possibly be real?!

I’m a bit off kilter, but so excited as he tells me to go get changed and he’ll take all the kids (I was babysitting today, so it wasn’t just ours…..)

The kids are all giddy and excited at this change in schedule and my Girlie wants to know Mama is going to go do and jealous because big brother ‘P’ was in on the secret all along, and ‘K’ is hugging and chanting “Happppppyyyy Ber-day, mama!!”

But this Man, just smiles big, hugs me tight, tells me how beautiful I am, how much I deserve this, enjoy and soak in all his love and he’ll see me later tonight…. An entire day?! Into the evening?!

I am whisked off to lunch at one of my fav places with my fav people, then to a spa for an afternoon of hair clipping, finger painting, back rubbing, then to one of my most coveted stores for shopping at my mama’s expense (happy birthday to me!!!!), to dinner, to more shopping, to a fabulous boutique expo, to one more gift revealed, then at the late hour of 8:30p I walk in the door of my home, my haven, arms laden with gifts and overflowing with grace….

And this final gift caused the joy to well up again… all my kiddos and this awesome Man of mine with candles lit singing and beaming and pictures frames with a special message for this monumentally blessed mama

I find words inadequate to describe how my heart is spilling with thanks for a Man who would take the time, precious moments to plan a day like this for me…every detailed laid out. It’s not the money he spent or even the gifts themselves, but to know that He took time to think about how to care for me in a way that we simply just don’t take the time to do much, takes my breath away. He sacrificed time and resourse to invest in surprising and pampering me, loved on me in such a profound way by going out of his way and saying “you first, my love”…..

So blessed….so blessed

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

stumbling blocks and direction

there are so many things i want to do and yet i become my biggest stumbling block... don't have time

...the finances are there right now

...what if you fail and everyone knows you failed

...i don't even know what the next 7 steps should be to get from "here" to "there"

...what do i really have to offer

i don't like to struggle, to be without vision and answers, whirling thoughts create a vortex of unknowns into an ache

He is doing something in me.... i desire to do great things for Him and that very desire is from Him to begin with

but which "great" thing should be the focus? where would you have me look, Lord?

so His Word falls open before me and tells me to look to only Him, serve only Him... devotion and obedience brings blessing and wisdom and protection...

i continue to commit His word to my heart. the one and only commitment i've planted myself upon for this new year.... Philippians, the whole book, commit to memory so that His unspeakable joys and love, a whole book-ful will grow and blossom within this life of mine devoted to His

it's a start. a wonderful one, excitement abounds!!

but He has more, much more. still listening and seeking so i can stay on His path, so His righteousness blankets me against the stumbling blocks...

i pray this first month of the year has you seeking and yearning for His direction, this journey of faith and following Christ into 2011 together in this small community.... Lord, let your grace flow and overwhelm me Jesus with your Joy and Love, that all be for your Glory

feel free to open up and share where the Lord is taking you this year and how i might join you in praying for direction and favor...


oh, yes! i crave and need His favor! presently and for the narrow path ahead of me... don't we all

be blessed, dear one!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


i am completely imperfect and messy

i don't clean my house as much as i should

i tend to do the laundry, lay out the laundry, but struggle with putting away the laundry

sometimes dinner is organic peanut butter & jelly sandwiches

i yell at my daughter for whining about her outfit, reminding her to have a Spirit of gratitude for clothes...where is my Spirit of patience...

i can't walk into my oldest son's room without commenting on how disgusting it is

it is the 12th of january in 2011 and i've yet to write down my goals

do i have goals?...what dreams has God given me...where should my focus be this year, month, day...

i let my preschooler play computer games for an hour so i could make beds, pick up rooms and hang up my Man and i clothes (only taken me 2 weeks & mulitple loads)

in all my messiness, floating adrift in my heart and mind for the last few weeks, maybe months, the Lord is still speaking to my soul...

"I love you with an unending, eternal love"

"I have plans to prosper you"

"I think you're beautiful and I want you"

"Nothing is impossible with Me, my dear daughter"

maybe you're seeking His heart for direction, wisdom, discernment, approval, dreams just i have been

feeling a bit lost

wondering what to do, where to go

even when i don't know what to do next, i do the one thing i know will bring me nearer to Him

i praise, regardless of my circumstances, my attitude

i live thankfulness, tick through the endless blessings that He pours on me

i seek to have less of me, much less

that His grace will flow over me, through me

i want be a world-changer for His name's sake

i'm just seeking how He wants to do that this year

the anticipation is wonderful and frustrating all at the same time me see the glimmers of your Beauty, that i may follow after you

...steal all of me, Jesus imperfections and messiness....take it all