Tuesday, January 19, 2010

pity party for one, please...

stomping of the feet, aggravated sighs of irritation, annoyed, aggitated.... mad

biting, indignent.... self-righteous kind of mad

the kind that had me thinking that i somehow live this mostly good and servant-hood life for God that i should be immune to being the victim of someone's elses temper-tamtrum

and yet i sit here grieving my prideful fit of anger, confessing i thought & felt & told Him that He shouldn't have let this happen to me

oh no you didn't?!!! i feel like that's what the angels must have been saying to themselves when i spoke to the King of Kings like that

and yet He told me very quickly, without mincing words that i could use all my best efforts to attempt to be super-sinless but because i live in a world of sin & evil, these things would happen... but He came that i might know what real love & redemption is

He is my victor of injustice!!

so instead of internally cursing the entire situation, i will train myself to pray for a multitude of blessings to rain down upon those that would try to crush me, destroy me, demoan me...

some battles are not against what i can see, they are spirtiual battles that many times go unseen by my earthly eyes...

it is hard to pray for those that intend us harm, it initially rubs me the wrong way... but i have found the Lord to be so faithful to transform my heart, my thoughts, my desires when i remember that it's not about me but about what He's doing through me.

you may feel like i've been a broken record around here, but the Lord is really working on reminding me that He doesn't need me to stress, worry, rant, compulsively plan or any of the like... He wants to bless me!! it is His desire to love all over me, to provide me with all that i need and more!!

what He wants is for me to faithfully trust Him, seek His face & His Way, pour out praise as i kneel at His feet in heartfelt devotion to Lord of Lords... this is what He made me for!!! not to be a robot or follow out of obligation, not!! as i ask Him to change ALL of me then He creates a heart that want to be where God is!! as i seek out answers to my life's problems and praise even when the rain in pourin' down, He answers.... bigger & better than i had ever hoped for!!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11.6

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