Wednesday, May 20, 2009

take courage. don't be intimidated...

whoa, it's has been awhile since i left you hanging right in the middle of a great story of God's ultimate goodness... sorry, but these last days of school for the Posse and work and my Man and church, well, you get the idea. so where did i leave off? oh, yeah, God brought me to a place where i had to step it up and believe...

i had been crying out to God to please heal me, stop my pain, why won't you help me?!! i wasn't even remotely interested in what i could be learning from my suffering. instead of getting mad or anxious and worried (which are all normal human reactions to pain & sickness, i'm not judging but God has more for us as Christians), i started relaxing, pulling myself out the mindset that i can't handle this and allowed my spirit to stop crying and to begin listening. and my Lord is faithful to answer my cries: Psalm 34.17:when the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles and verse 19:many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Awesome, huh?!

as i started pressing into God even more, making myself trust Him no matter how i felt, and God began to speak Life into my broken soul. philippians 4.6 don't fret or worry. instead of worrying, pray. let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. it's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life (the message)

i began to see His glory in my situation in ways i hadn't recognized before: i didn't take days and moments with my family for granted (not that i did before, however we all forget to cherish those everyday moments with our babies to the degree that we should, each day is a gift from God, it's not something that we're owed). this was an opportunity to show my kiddos that no matter the circumstances we can ALWAYS praise the Lord. to be an example of faith and strength to my Man, to my family and friends and co-workers. when people would ask my how i was feeling, what was my diagnosis, i was able (by God's Awesome Grace) to respond 'no one knows but God, and His grace is more than enough': i didn't sugar coat it 'cause there were bad days, but i had a unique opportunity as i was walking through an obvious valley to be a vessel of the Lord's light to many who didn't know Him as their Father & Savior.

finally this last april i had a long waited appointment with a specialist, dr.c. this appointment had been scheduled for 4 months, so i decided to take this time to further plead my case before God with impudence, spend more time than ever before praying & praising Him. i could finally begin to pray 'Lord, no matter what happens, i love you regardless. i will serve you whatever the situation!' can you say that to Him today? i began praying and fasting for dr.c, believing God to reveal something through him that all other physicians had missed and that He would give dr.c wisdom in my situation. God doesn't disappoint!!! WOW, my God answers!! I AM HEALED!!
it took months of praying, crying, worrying, repenting, trusting, praising, believing and God answered. the Lord does not work in my time but in His perfect timing. He knew that I didn't fully trust His divine power in my physical body, that i needed to be allowed to be in this situation where He was all i had (because really whether it seems to be good times or it's bad, God is ALL i have or need!), that maybe i was prideful in my walk prior to this physical derailment, that He wanted to show His glory & power to me and those in my life, and i am so glad that He did. what a priviledge to be used by the Lord to work out His most perfect will!! (again, i couldn't say that 14 months ago)

so not only now do i believe my Lord can meet all my needs financially, my needs as a wife & mama, my needs spiritually as a leader to my family and in my church & ministry, but i know that my God walks with me through fire and he is fully in control of my physically body, HE IS MY HEALER AND ALL I NEED!! (i just so happen to be listening at this moment to Hillsong's song 'Healer', how cool is that!) there isn't anything impossible for my Lord, and i look forward to the day, be it tomorrow or 70 years from now, that i get to go home to be with Him forever and ever!!

do you trust Him with all you are? no matter what comes your way, will you praise His name all the louder? what trials has God brought you through... leave a comment, there are lots of you stopping by to read, but i'd love to read a comment from you. who knows, your testimony could be just what someone else needs to hear today. i hope my words of faith and struggle and trimuph by the power of our Lord give you the faith to step out and believe, no matter what...

deuteronomy 31.6
be strong. take courage. don't be intimidated. don't give them a second thought because God, YOUR GOD, is striding ahead of you. he's right there with you. he won't let you down; he won't leave you.

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