forever & ever & ever

the first time i saw him we were sitting at opposite tables in the student union, supposedly studying for our next classes; it was our freshman year of college. as i pretended to struggle with my honors level trigonomtery just so i'd look cute chewing on my pencil & peeking at him out of the corner of my eye, i would catch him looking at me and smiling.

i can't explain it unless it has happened to you: that one your were meant for, that person that God created for you... but your heart leaps inside you and your souls connect creating a magnificent spark!

it took 11 months from that day before we ever had our first date (yes i remember our first date on December 14th!) and we made many mistakes to cause our relationship undue heartache after, but God was faithful to keep calling us back to Him....

i am immensely blessed to share my life with such an amazing man, my Man!! his wit and teasing is still very attractive to me, it keeps me on my toes; i adore his huge heart for God, for me & for our kiddos

at the end of each day when he comes in the door he wraps his strong arms all the way around me, kisses me & asks the loaded question "so how was your day?" knowing that its never a short answer and i can talk to him for 18 minutes straight about all my experiences & thoughts & he listens attentively with a smile on his face (because he's internally laughing that i can turn that simple question into a non-stop & lengthy response :); i am overflowing with pride for him & how hard he works to take care of our family; he is rational & very smart while that contrasts with my dreamy & imaginative tendancies; he is the leader of our family, our home, and i'd follow him anywhere!

honey, you are my dream man! this marriage we have is a wonderful & beautiful symphony that only God could create... and i give the next 60 years to Him to conduct for us and i trust that He will lead us to even greater places & deeper love for one another

i'm yours forever & ever & ever... happy anniversary!!

party on!!

birthday weekends are extraordinarily fun but completely exhausting.



our oldest kiddo, Master 'P', is now 12 years old... how is that even possible?! i'm really old enough to have a 12 year son?! in baby 'K's words "no way!!"



how could he be 12 when i was just holding him in my arms and patting him to sleep... he used to need me to read him stories, to help him brush his teeth, hold his little hand to cross the street... and now? well not so much.

i know, i know, this is the natural course of growing into being a teenager and eventually into an adult


by God's beautiful grace, P is growing into an awesome young man!!

his sense of humor is witty & on all the time, he is always on the move: riding his rip-stick or bike, he always has a basketball under one arm or is dribbling wherever he goes, he is sensitive to the needs of others and always seems to know when his sister & brother need some attention, he is totally okay being by himself but loves to entertain a crowd with a joke, he is a fan of KJ52 and Skillet, addicted to his PSP, a lover of the Lord, learning his place & purpose, he still gives me hugs and tells me he loves me

i want so much for him...

i mostly pray that he follows God with all that is in him, wherever it takes him, as long as he walks the path blazed by Jesus

while i am thoroughly exhausted after celebrating with his friends at Incredible Pizza (we were there for 3 hours and trust me 'K' was truly mad when i pryed him out of the game room), the next day spent playing on his new mountain bike, then all our family over for a barbeque (whew!! fun but tired...) and some yummy ice cream cake!! and a little Guitar Hero showdown :), it is completely worth it to celebrate that amazing day i became a very blessed mama 12 years ago...

happy birthday kiddo!! the best is yet to come... and i can't wait!!

Not Me! Monday

are you hiding the dirty clothes in the closet because you haven't had time to do laundry? are your children writing "clean me" on the coffee table & tv because the art of dusting as escaped your to-do list? well, get over it!!! Not Me! Monday was the splendid creation of MckMama, as a way to air our imperfections, have ourselves a good belly laugh and know that we are not alone :)

what have i not done this week..... hhhhmmmm.... well,

i did not babysit for a friend of mine this week, her cutie-pie 6month girlie!!, and when cutie babe needed a quiet place to nap, i did not lay her down in our walk-in closet & shut the door to create the perfect napping oasis... nope! i am well aware that closets are totally inappropriate places for sweet little ones to nap.... (i kinda want to crawl in there and close the door right now... aaaahhh sweet sleep)

while grocery shopping on friday afternoon, in an attempt to have a quick run through the supercenter before i had to pick 'P' up from school (his birthday was friday!!! a birthday post coming later today too!!!), my youngest most perfect toddlet did not decide to have a complete meltdown multiple times throughout the store. he is the picture of obedience!! he certainly did not run the opposite direction down the aisle when i sweetly called out to him, nope, 'K' is the model child.

i also would never ever ever just pulled him along by his foot as i stood in the checkout line, NEVER!! he would not throw himself to the disgusting floor, screaming "no, no, no, i don't wanna walk!".... i also did not get judgemental looks from other shoppers to which i responded "i know! i would be ashamed too if i were acting like that!" i am aware that the fellow shopper was insinuating that i should be ashamed, but just couldn't give her the satisfaction.... if this whole thing had happened :)

i am so glad you came by today!! link up your own Not Me! at MckMama's blog so i can check out your perfect week too!!!

later today is the birthday post for Master P.... pictures and all!!

He knew about me...

the week leading up to Easter i spent time reading in the Gospels (per my pastor's suggestion, bless the Lord for Him!), reading about the week leading up to the Ultimate Sacrifice on my behalf. reliving those last days of Jesus' teaching in Jerusalem, asking God for a new perspective on these verses i have read many times.

i began reading in Matthew 21 and John 12 about Jesus' royal welcome into Jerusalem and the thousands of people gathered at the entrance into town, cheering the King, crying out "Hosanna in Highest heaven!"

wow!! how amazing would that have been to welcome in the Savior of the world, in person?! the Christ! our Redeemer!

even though i wasn't standing among the crowd as Jesus rode into town on the back of a donkey, He knew me...

this hit me like a ton of bricks last week and stuck with me each day as i read over the verses of the Last Supper, the arrest at Gethsemane, the interrogation in front of Caiaphas, the trial before Pilate, as i struggled through the recount of His beating, the carrying of MY cross to Golgotha, the jeers & taunting at His feet as He hung for all eternity's sins, as He spoke His last words before He died for ME... He knew about ME!

Jesus fufilled the Father's will for my disgusting & gross sin... His love for me is a great mystery and totally beyond my ability to understand!

He knew ME... He already knew my name, my hair color, when i was to be born, He knew that i would enter into this beautiful world a cute (that's what my momma says) little bundle of joy but that i was a horrible sinner that would need His sacrifice of blood & righteousness to cover my sins.

if i had to stand trial simply based on my own merits, whoa!! i don't even want to know the sentence for my punishment! i deserved a severe judgement for what i've done and for what i will mostly likely do....

but He knew me...

so because His blood redeems me, because i threw myself at His feet many years ago & confessed what a terrible sinner i was & i surrendered all i am to His will. He loves me so much, more than i could ever earn, more than i will ever know... He knew what He could do with a softened and willing heart.

i broke my heart all over again to read about all those people who had just welcomed Jesus into town that now were screaming for His crucifixtion, not that i am any different, i had cheered His praises and condemned later with my actions...

but He rose again, defeated the grave, God is ALIVE!!

He did it for me.... but He also did it for you!!

it is amazing, breath-taking, miraculous, life-changing, a gift.... it was love

thank you Jesus for thinking of me!!!

i love my girlie

i love this lil' girlie with all that is in me...

i love to sneak up to her bedroom door to listen to her teaching her dollies and the care with which she reads each story.... practicing for her future mothering duties

i love that she comes up to me regularly and whispers "i just feel like hugging you all the time" and i would hold her for all time it i could

i love her creativity and flare for design.... everything in her world is pretty!

i adore that she still sits and makes me & daddy homemade cards, each one specially designed, every brush stroke and sticker has meaning & passion behind it

i see her desire growing to develop her skills: be it playing the piano better or being able to dribble the ball just a little longer than last time

i memorize the moments when her eyes light up because big brother asked her to hang out with him... her desire to be his best friend & confidant is tangible.... she looks up to him

i gush over the times i hear her singing to her baby brother as they lay down to sleep, their beds just 4 feet apart... my heart leaps when i see him search for her hand as we walk to the park, he knows she'll lead him safely to the swings

i am a puddle after i witness a 'moment' between daddy and girlie, when i realize how much she loves her daddy, that he is the man in her life, he is her world... he wouldn't have it any other way, she is everything he never knew he wanted and could never live without...

i crumble when i see my faults in her, we are mirror personalities... i long to protect her from her own self doubt, her perfectionism, her shyness, her anger, her laziness... i pray harder to a great God that has, is and will give me wisdom to shape her into something a million times better that i could ever hope to be

i want the world for her

i pray that she always knows she is my love, my heart, my best friend... her beauty is staggering and her soul is even more breath-taking

she is a child of God, a daughter of the Most High King... her spirit to love Jesus is amazing and i am devoted to planting her in furtile soil so she may grow may in Christ each day

what an honor to mother a daughter... to be hand she holds for support, the arms she clings to for comfort & love, the eyes that she looks to for reassurance....

i love her so deeply that my lil' girlie will never comprehend... until one day she has the privilege to usher in a girl of her own and then she will feel the rush, the love, the pride, the beauty...