he takes my breath away....

I’ve seen “those” movies…. You know the ones with overly romance guys, whoo-ing the girl with extravagant surpises: he’s standing in the doorway with flowers waiting to whisk her off on romantic jaunts, every moment planned just for her.

I giggle at these scenes in movies because it does not depict the typical, everyday life of the married couple. Not because the husband is a self-absorbed jerk or the wife is undeserving, but life is busy with jobs and the home and the kiddos and church and extended family and blah, blah, blah…. You know where I’m headed, right?!

And I am not a woman who shies away from acknowledging her birthday (today is my birthday, just fyi…), I am completely comfortable with my age of 33 and loving every (almost) minute of it. The Lord has seen fit to give me another breath, another day, another year in which to live each glorious, gifted moment to His ultimate Glory…. And I had big plans for today, BIG! The kiddos just started spring break, so we had the whole day to hang, enjoy the beautiful weather, maybe go out for dinner when my Man got home from work, it was gonna be wonderful.

Then the completely unexpected occurred……

He went for Man of the Decade today (ssshhhhh….nobody tell him that he had already won it, hands down!!)….. It was right out of a movie…..

A knock at the front door about 10:00am…. I open it to find him, my Man, my utterly wonderful husband standing at the front door holding 18 gorgeous roses (in all the most magnificent colors)!! We embrace, we kiss…..

I stammer something about how he should be at work and what’s he doing and these flowers are gorgeous and you are wonderful and joy rolls down my cheeks…..

This Man takes my breath away sometimes

He has arranged for someone, my sister (in-law), to be my ‘lady-in-waiting’ for the day, they will arrive at 11:00am to head to the first of many (many is an understatement) schedules appointments, just for me….

Could this possibly be real?!

I’m a bit off kilter, but so excited as he tells me to go get changed and he’ll take all the kids (I was babysitting today, so it wasn’t just ours…..)

The kids are all giddy and excited at this change in schedule and my Girlie wants to know Mama is going to go do and jealous because big brother ‘P’ was in on the secret all along, and ‘K’ is hugging and chanting “Happppppyyyy Ber-day, mama!!”

But this Man, just smiles big, hugs me tight, tells me how beautiful I am, how much I deserve this, enjoy and soak in all his love and he’ll see me later tonight…. An entire day?! Into the evening?!

I am whisked off to lunch at one of my fav places with my fav people, then to a spa for an afternoon of hair clipping, finger painting, back rubbing, then to one of my most coveted stores for shopping at my mama’s expense (happy birthday to me!!!!), to dinner, to more shopping, to a fabulous boutique expo, to one more gift revealed, then at the late hour of 8:30p I walk in the door of my home, my haven, arms laden with gifts and overflowing with grace….

And this final gift caused the joy to well up again… all my kiddos and this awesome Man of mine with candles lit singing and beaming and pictures frames with a special message for this monumentally blessed mama

I find words inadequate to describe how my heart is spilling with thanks for a Man who would take the time, precious moments to plan a day like this for me…every detailed laid out. It’s not the money he spent or even the gifts themselves, but to know that He took time to think about how to care for me in a way that we simply just don’t take the time to do much, takes my breath away. He sacrificed time and resourse to invest in surprising and pampering me, loved on me in such a profound way by going out of his way and saying “you first, my love”…..

So blessed….so blessed

first and ten! and 2 wins!!

we've had a lot going on this past week, much of it had to do with football, and i'm totally okay with that! i love football!! my Man is a very blessed husband in this regard :)

the best game i attended this week had to be tuesday night's game where my son was the focus of my attention...

if you can see the number 32, then that's my boy, but quite honestly when i went back to edit the pictures i couldn't tell which one was him... i know, i'm a loser, but at least i snapped some photos!

i was mightly disappointed that i couldn't find my cowbell before we left for his game, there can't ever be enough cowbell :) however that didn't stop our team from winning the game!

yep! the boys pulled out a victory, 16-12, so we are undefeated!! and he had a great time, had a great run, lots of tackles that put a stop to the offense, and i was a very pleased mama because he so thoroughly enjoyed himself!

...but i was a rather exhausted mama for my boy's game, especially after the 3 hour drive we had just taken from the football game we were at the night before...

oh ya, baby!! my Man and i took a mini-vacation monday & tuesday and headed for kansas city to watch the chiefs opener for monday night football...

it was awesome!! did i say i love football?! i do! and i love going to an nfl game, it is an impressive experience, and arrowhead was electric!!

we got up to KC early enough to head to dinner with some great friends we were meeting at our hotel and then it was off to the stadium to tailgate out with a few (tens of) thousand of our closest friends!

i had such a splendidly fantastic time spending the evening with my Man and also hanging out with our friends...

we made the long jaunt towards the stadium and stopped for a quick pic in front arrowhead...

it was about 8:15p and the gates were flooded with crazy fans and the screams of chiefs fans all around!!

since it was opening night and monday night football and the stadium has been completely overhauled (and it was magnificent!!! i was awe-struck!) there was quite a show planned before kickoff with fireworks to boot!

i was texting pictures to envious 'P' and Girlie, who were watching it all on television

and i was never so thankful for the chiefs to pull out a win, no matter how sloppy it was, it was still an wonderous end to a glorious day with my Man....

but i was ever so tired as we climbed into our bed at the hotel just shy of 2am.... i don't even remember the last time i was up at 2am unless it was to care for sickly kiddo! it was even better to sleep in past 6am :) we stopped to eat the most fabulous breakfast on our way home and did i mention how we had such a great time being together on our little escape?! it was beautiful...

and as a bonus our team won... the chiefs, just in case you were wondering

so why can't we stay together? part 2

so recap from part 1...

i hate divorce, it sucks

when parents act like children instead of making their children & their welfare of the highest priority is pathetic & sad

in part 1 i relayed my disbelief with the CDC's 2009 report of 50% of the 2.162 million marriages ended in divorce... wah?!

so why can't we stay together? aka: divorce part 2

i said i'd give my two cents worth on this, so here goes... however let me preface my interpretation & insight is infinitely influenced by my parents divorce and my faith in Christ, and i am aware that each marriage is as unique as the snowflakes :)

my mom and dad knew each even as young as junior high, and then eloped their senior year of high school, then moved across the country when my dad joined the Marine Corp. a couple years later they move back to Fly Over Country and i am born shortly after. like most young couples they struggle along financially, my dad worked construction and my mom worked as well while i stayed with my aunt during the day. by the time i was almost 6 my middle brother as born, we shared a room together, i remember that he cried a lot but i was so excited to have my own real baby doll. jobs & money got better and we moved to a better part of town, nicer house and i had my own room and we had a big backyard and i got to walk to school, which i thought was cool in my head but scary to actually do at the age of 7. my mom worked a lot i think and so did my dad and my brother went to preschool. my parents didn't talk much. my dad yelled at me a lot. then something went wrong, we had to sell our house, we were going to move to another state and my mom was pregnant with my youngest brother which i was convinced would be a sister.

we move a bit more south, i am back sharing a room with not only my middle brother but also my baby brother, darn. i meet a girl who quickly becomes my best friend, she's still my best & closest friend to this very day, we live near my mom's parents which is cool and my mom gets to be at home with us which is even more cool. dad works a lot. there is a lot of fighting. a couple years later we make a big move north to where my entire family on both sides is from (go Huskers!) so my dad can become a police officer and i spend the summer helping my mom remodel an old house just across the tracks from my cousins. things change quickly as we are only there three months before our family of 5 moves back south to our hometown (where we began, just in case you're lost).

i start middle school, i am missing my bestie, i get my own room and while i never felt overly popular until my freshman year, i made tons of friends in our new school and got to stay until i graduated, which was a year early because i'm just that cool :) i go to college, meet my future husband, get through my freshman year, that summer my parents get divorced, i'm 18

as i write this, i think it sounds normal and what a lot of families experience like job changes and moving and both parents working, new babies and new schools. so what does any of this have to do with marriage and divorce and why we can't stay together...

have you ever thought "my spouse isn't making me very happy right now?!" i will be honest my Man, as awesome as he is, can irritate me and make me unhappy. some of his choices can upset or sadden me and i have said or thought "you shouldn't say that... it makes me unhappy" and if i'm being totally honest i've even whollered there for a few days pondering "why isn't he trying to make me happy... i mean it's not the end of the world for him to do so-and-so just for my sake." and while my Man and i are completely in love and our desire is to serve the other's needs & wants, not everything my Man does is going to make my heart flutter and my eyes bat adoringly as i swoon over him....

and you know what: that's okay. yep... i know, i know, our world will tell us that if it feels good then do it. and if we can't have our way, then find someone who will give us our way. the world says if we can't have it right now then stomp your feet and someone will cave to your whim. it should all be about "us" and what will satisfy us, i mean we're entitled to a mostly perfect life, right?

WRONG!!! i despise this enviroment of entitlement, and the notion that supreme happiness should be my goal. and it especially bothers me to see this attitude within a marriage because this selfishness will be the bomb that causes it to come crashing down.

what if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy..... what if it is used by God to keep transforming us to His image instead of to give us whatever we think will make us "happy"

do you know what word could fill in all the gaps in my short childhood recap of my parent's marriage? ...W.I.I.F.M.

you know: What's In It For Me?

when my mom and my dad got married i think they were both trying to escape parents & families that were suffocating them and trying to show they were adults (my opinion and not meant to denegrate) and because they didn't have an example of a loving, respectful and serving marriage and their relationship with God was a mess, i believe they thought that marriage and the other person would serve to make them "happy."

i think we are all prone to this trap in marriage, in life :) don't you?

my dad has always had wonderful intentions but very little follow through... i think that he desired & intended in the beginning to be a good husband that could provide well for his wife but it was harder than he thought and it turned out to not be a lot "in it for him" when he wanted it to be about making him happy.

my mom has big dreams and impressive goals for herself and i'm sure that she has since before she even became a wife or mom... and then she married a man who wasn't on the same page as her, i don't think they shared the same goals (except to get far away from their parents) and unfortunately she married an oppressive & angry man... and this quickly became a marriage that wasn't happy (or safe).

when Christ isn't the center of our life and if He isn't the heart of a marriage then i'm telling you it won't work. we need God to save us from ourselves! i need God to save me from me!! can you relate?

there was a time in my own marriage when i was so full on for Jesus and serving Christ while my Man was only interested in giving God some time on Sunday morning, but he certainly had not surrendered his whole heart to God. and while he loved God, he wasn't ready to let go of his own agenda... and it created problems

he would be upset that i didn't recognize some song on the radio that he liked because i typically listened to Christian stations & would criticize over that... he felt slighted over the amount of time i would be at church serving and so he would withdraw some from me

he was saying, in a sense "why aren't you acting like i want you to act, spending your time how i'd prefer, etc" or as i like to say, he was saying "what's in this for me?!"

but, as i prayed, as we spent time talking and working through those days he felt like second on my list, the more i continued to obey God in serving Him but working to submit & serve my Man, well God changed my Man....

and while i had an awesome marriage before, it got a million times more awesome!!! when Christ became the center of our marriage and our hearts, we gave up on pleasing ourselves and more focused on loving God & each other, it was beautiful...

so why can't couples stay together?

it has to be about more than "feeling" happy.... and more about God

what say you?....

divorce, kids & wicked stepmoms...

*WARNING!! this post is rather biased... just so you know, but i would love you insight, thoughts, experience, so please leave your comment (i mean everyone is always free to comment, but especially this time) in a polite & grown-up manner :) and well it's my blog and i can write about whatever i'm feeling, so enjoy!!!

it utterly infuriates me when a couple divorces, they have children and then one or both ex's make parenting decisions geared at punishing the other parent! their hatred for their ex is greater than their love for their kids... yep! i said it! a parent's choices are supposed to be centered around what is in the best interest of their children, and when their decisions are skewed by dislike for others, including but not limited to ex-spouses & their new spouse, then hatred has gained more power than love...

i hate divorce

did you know that the CDC reported in 2009 that there were 2,162,000 marriages.... that's about 7.1 per 1000 of the population.... there were 3.5 divorces per 1000

hello?!?!! that's at minimum 50% divorce rate.... what's missing here?! i have a thought but in a moment...

and i am not condemning anyone who is separated, divorced or remarried, but if you have experienced divorce you would most likely testify to the fact that is sucks...and that is the most appropriate word to describe it

i am not divorced, and so thankful for and blessed with My Amazing Man, however i am from what most refer to as a "broken home." quite frankly, i don't like that term... whomever coined that phrase obviously didn't live in my home when it was supposed to "un-broken" because if there was ever a Biblically justified case for divorce it was my parents.

so as a woman who has lived my parents divorce, remarriage and all the un-fun that comes afterwards, i have expertise in this field... it is undesirable expertise but has & will continue to be used for good and comfort and insight

so back to my original statement: parents who hate their ex-spouse MORE than they love their children

you might totally disagree, and you are welcome to that but here's an example:

a loving mom and loving dad, but they no longer love each other. ok... so they divorce and because dad is rather insecure with himself & not being able to make another relationship prosper he doesn't put up an argument with ex-wife when she wants full custody and dad gets every other weekend, one day each week and alternating holidays. mom soon remarries. dad begins dating as well.

new girlfriend isn't introduced to kids for quite some time, until dad & girlfriend are totally sure that this is relationship is long-term. when girlfriend is introduced in the kids lives it is slow-moving over time but kids respond well. mom isn't happy.

let me break-in here and say that i understand, as a mom, i wouldn't want another woman to come in and try to "play" mom to my babes. there would be jealousy and insecurities, worry and control issues. but should these emotions dictate visitation & parenting decisions? did you know that:

40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the fathers visitation to punish their ex-spouse. ["Frequency of Visitation" by Sanford Braver, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry]

50% of mothers see no value in the fathers continued contact with his children. ["Surviving the Breakup" by Joan Berlin Kelly]

i have visited handfuls of forums & chat rooms this week dominated by moms (not many dad) debating issues of custody and visitation, some for legitimate reasons to withhold (drug use, abuse, etc) but many others for superficial reasons of anger & revenge. all you have to do is google divorce & remarriage stats or parent custody issues to see the pain of divorce and it's affects on kiddos. from my personal experience, that of my friends and what i've seen in some of these forums, too often custodial parents are punishing their ex because it makes them feel powerful and it comes at the expense of what is best for the kids...now back to my example

mom isn't happy with a new woman around her kids. dad marrys girlfriend. girlfriend is nice and kind, doesn't try to 'mother' kids but does have general household rules & does activities and general family stuff with kids. mom keeping imposing more rules and makes it harder for dad to get kids based upon her dislike of dad's growing involvement & inquiries for kids. no matter how dad trys to be involved, mom just creates new interpretations of custody rules. mom hates stepmom....

i am aware that this example goes both ways, it could just as easily be a jealous father imposing crazy restrictions upon a mama that remarried a wonderful guy. it isn't right either way. the hatred & jealousy overrules what is best for the kids. it is so insanely wrong to cut out a loving & involved parent... sorry but there are only ex-spouses in a divorce, no ex-parents!

and while this scenario plays out multiple ways it is typically starring the "wicked stepmother" who is cast by my the mom. i will admit to the fact that i don't feel sorry for some stepmoms (and yes i will be honest & admit i didn't and don't feel sorry for my father's wife), but many stepmoms out there simply want to fit in & be apart of the family, and well they are the recipent of resentment from an ex-wife who will never accept her right to love the children.

this whole "wicked stepmom" character makes it difficult to integrate the nicest stepmom into a family.... and when played up by an insecure, controlling and irrational mom who has decided her new family is all the kids need and who needs dad & his wife?! well i'll say it once more: that parent has chosen her selfish desires over what is best for her children.... and it disgusts me, it makes me physically ill. *and let me say again that i would just as disgusted (personally more so) when a father choses his desires & comfort over the needs of his kids... i mean come on! be a real man!

to see a dad slowly and methodically cut out of his kid's lives breaks my heart. i truly believe that we are seeing the affects today of a generation of women who thought dads were meaningless and kids were raised without a strong male in the home. with violent crimes increasing, gang activity, child abuse sickingly high, more kids born out of wedlock, kids with eating disorders, teenage drug abuse... i could go on.

noted sociologist, Dr.David Popenoe wrote this: "fathers are far more than just 'second adults' in the home. involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other adult is likely to bring."

i hate divorce

i hate it when parents use their kids as a source of revenge... grow-up!

my thoughts on the out-of-control divorce stats... well that is a post coming up this weekend

yes, i'm biased... but i've lived it.... your thoughts?

forever & ever & ever

the first time i saw him we were sitting at opposite tables in the student union, supposedly studying for our next classes; it was our freshman year of college. as i pretended to struggle with my honors level trigonomtery just so i'd look cute chewing on my pencil & peeking at him out of the corner of my eye, i would catch him looking at me and smiling.

i can't explain it unless it has happened to you: that one your were meant for, that person that God created for you... but your heart leaps inside you and your souls connect creating a magnificent spark!

it took 11 months from that day before we ever had our first date (yes i remember our first date on December 14th!) and we made many mistakes to cause our relationship undue heartache after, but God was faithful to keep calling us back to Him....

i am immensely blessed to share my life with such an amazing man, my Man!! his wit and teasing is still very attractive to me, it keeps me on my toes; i adore his huge heart for God, for me & for our kiddos

at the end of each day when he comes in the door he wraps his strong arms all the way around me, kisses me & asks the loaded question "so how was your day?" knowing that its never a short answer and i can talk to him for 18 minutes straight about all my experiences & thoughts & he listens attentively with a smile on his face (because he's internally laughing that i can turn that simple question into a non-stop & lengthy response :); i am overflowing with pride for him & how hard he works to take care of our family; he is rational & very smart while that contrasts with my dreamy & imaginative tendancies; he is the leader of our family, our home, and i'd follow him anywhere!

honey, you are my dream man! this marriage we have is a wonderful & beautiful symphony that only God could create... and i give the next 60 years to Him to conduct for us and i trust that He will lead us to even greater places & deeper love for one another

i'm yours forever & ever & ever... happy anniversary!!

prayer and 21 days of fasting!

i'm not sure if you've ever fasted before or even know what fasting is, well i'm guessing you know what it is to fast a.k.a. go without food, but fasting & prayer: does that ring a bell? well even if you're all up to speed on fasting & prayer, let me guide you to some parts of the Bible that speak of fasting & prayer:


Ezra 8.21 : Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God, to seek from him a safe journey for ourselves, our children, and all our goods.

Psalm 69.10 : When I wept and humbled my soul with fasting,it became my reproach.

Daniel 9:3 Then I turned my face to the Lord God, seeking him by prayer and pleas for mercy with fasting and sackcloth and ashes.

Acts 14:23 And when they had appointed elders for them in every church, with prayer and fasting they committed them to the Lord in whom they had believed.

there are many more verses i could pull out for you, but i pray that you see the repeated importance of prayer and offering the sacrifice of fasting before the Lord. i had the awesome experience during the month of september to be apart of a Daniel fast that many other leaders and members were participating in as we wanted favor and wisdom and insight for the opening of a new campus for our church, but this was also an opportunity to lay other situations at the Lord's feet and wait and pray for His perfect leading and wisdom. and while i am rather organic and natural in my diet, i do love a glass of lemonade or a couple peanut butter m&m's from time to time, which was not on the list of approved foods.

while praying for the Lord to bless and guide us in opening the new campus, that He would bring those that are lost and needing a church home to the new campus, i was also laying out a few things of my own... curious? okay, i'll share just a little...

i have longed to be a stay-at-home mama since Master 'P' was very little, and then it naturally got stronger after lil'Lou-Who entered the scene and my cutie Baby 'K' causes my heart to ache as he plays with his nanny as i run off to save the world of advertising for a few hours a day. while i don't have to work as much as many other mamas out there and have wonderful flexibility with my career (this is such a God thing to have) it still doesn't take the place of being able to be at home with the Posse on my terms 100%. so you can gather that i have prayed for God to bring this to reality for a long time, since i know it is a desire He placed in my heart, so He will of course provide, right?

and provide He most certainly will, yes indeed!! but it was never quite like i thought He would when i began praying and seeking for this many years ago (and wow!! it has been many, 'P' is 11 1/2 years old, Lou-Who will be 8 tomorrow!! geez i'm getting old). in the beginning i wanted God to somehow just make it all work out, like magic. that's great except God doesn't partner with david copperfield on tricks of illusion, nope! He's God, the Beginning and the End. so after much revelation and the Lord speaking into me, some talking with my Man about it, i began to change my prayers accordingly and prayed for a career i could do from home 90% of the time that would provide for my shopping habit our financial needs. and God, being ever so faithful to His child, did speak into my heart that He was going to release me from that company, and i was thrilled!! so you know what i did? i just knew that the Lord would provide so i talked with all of my clients in a 2 day period, walked into my boss's office and resigned, full of hope and relief, excited by what God would do!!! the end, they all lived happily ever after...

wait... the pages on my fairy tale got stuck together... oh that's not it, there was still trials and struggles?!! what kind of story is this?!!

so i resigned, i got handfuls of job offers and i was feeling oh so blessed. but none of those paths worked out like i thought they would and then i started to become irritated and annoyed that i had obeyed and all i got was this!?! in hindsight and after even more revelation, the word from God was good and He had a great plan to get me home, but i had not waited for the Lord's timing. and knowing the will of God is simply not enough, but also knowing and waiting for the Lord's time is almost more important that the plan itself!

so i took an amazing career opportunity after much crying, pounding of feet, and whining that i didn't want to have to work outside the home again. but with the pesky habit of eating that our family has become accustomed to, i took the job and that's the career i have currently. and 90% of the time it is great gig and God has been faithful in assisting and guiding me and teaching me many things.

but i had been praying all wrong, come to find out, sometimes i'm a little slow. instead of thinking God would just do some magic trick, or jumping the gun or being annoyed that my Man wasn't more 'on board' with the whole SAHM* i had to be shone a few things about me as a wife and mama first.

*stay-at-home mama

Titus 2.3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

that while i am a great wife (per my Man, i need consistent Heavenly work), i did many times step in front of my Man regarding household decisions, financial investment, etc. instead of standing next to him allowing him to lead me. remember the little bit i wrote on submission, well this goes right along with that. being a submissive wife doesn't come naturally to me, or anyone i'd venture, but it is God's plan. at the beginning of my engagement and marriage i thought i needed to be rather outspoken and loud, and i'm not talking about yelling or arguing because honestly we have only had 2-3 really argumentative moments in our almost 14 years together, but i am talking about not allowing my husband to be the leader and head of our marriage and household. i have been shown that working on having a quiet spirit, a submissive heart, a controlled tongue, an attitude of love and respect at all times goes a long way in God being able to be the head of our marriage and family and allowing my Man to grow and lead our awesome bunch!!

i also had to make sure that my Man understood that i wanted to more than anything to stay at home to be able to take care of him even better, because i loved him so much and our Posse of Kiddos so much that i am ever devoted to being at home, in any home. my Man has the same problem many men have: i need to give my wife a super-big expensive house and car and blah, blah, blah. and you know what, i fear that i made him feel that way, like maybe he couldn't really 'be on board' with me being at home because i had certain expectations of how i needed to live that on one income maybe he wouldn't be able to provide. so i apologized for that, and stressed to him, that i am ready to be at home, in any home. you have no idea how God used that to speak to my Man..

because then i stopped praying "God please make a way for me to find a way to be home..." to something like "Lord it is your will that i be home without distractions to serve my husband and raise my kids to honor You. please give my husband the faith to believe that You will lead him and show us Your plan to work out Your will in our family". it is so not about me! obeying God is never about me or about you, sorry to burst your bubble! but if i want to experience all God has for me and be and invincible warrior-chic for Christ, then my desires have to be centered and focused on Him, not lil' ole me!!

my beloved Man, while praying at the beginning of this year got a word from God that we were supposed to have me at home, full-time. we were preparing and planning on that happening by the end of the year but now is looking more like spring. but regardless, see how God is working?! we will be putting our home on the market soon and thus looking for another home we can renovate and work on that is oober-cheap more cost effective for a single income budget.

so during my time of fasting i really pressed in for more of the plan to be revealed in regards to where the Lord would have us move, or if jobs will change sooner, or this or that will happen now or later, etc. and i am excited for how the Lord will honor and go before us to give favor on this life change in response to my prayer & fasting.

i'd love your thoughts and comments on being a SAHM, maybe how your family does it.

i do...forever and ever!!

i love anniversaries!! i especially love this one: today i celebrate my life and marriage to my Amazing Man!! he is absolutely my best friend, my soul mate, it was totally meant to be.... i am gushing, i know, but how many people in this world are completely in love with their spouse? from the looks of it, not many. the Lord created him for me, to be the daddy to the kiddos, to be my leader and head of the house, my secret keeper, he's the one who knows what i'm thinking many times before i say anything.

all this wonderful-ness isn't easy, some days it is down right un-fun. but the Lord is the center of our marriage and you know what, if we turn our eyes to Him, give our troubles to Him, live out our marriage according to the Word then God is going to bless our lives together!! when we said 'i do' it was forever, not when it gets hard we go our separate ways!! it breaks my heart to see other couples in our lives divorce or separate; God is sooooo much bigger than the marital issues we see in front of us. trials can strengthen the bond of marriage if we focus on the Lord and take our eyes off ourselves and lift up our spouse. now some may laugh, but i want to be the submissive wife that is in 1Peter 3:

1Likewise, wives,be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

i know this is such a foreign concept in this day and age ( i realize that makes me sound old!! ), but i have really prayed for the Lord to give me a heart of submission, to allow my husband to lead me. but it doesn't mean my mouth stays closed all the time and i only speak when spoken to (hee hee), it means say my piece without cutting my Man down or being ugly (which it still comes out that way sometimes, sorry my love) and then trusting him to make the right, Godly decision. it means praying for my husband, that his heart will be softened to the Lord, his ears will be sensitive to the Lord's leading & calling. and you know what, we both win: my Man gets to be the Head of the House and the Lord's will is impressed upon his heart and (hopefully) we turn and follow the will of God, and our family is blessed, our marriage is stronger, our love for each other grows deeper, as well as our faith and trust and love of Jesus is deeper!! i love watching the Lord work in our marriage and our family.

so... my Amazing Man.... i love you more today than i ever knew was possible. i love how in love with God you are, and i pray that you are always seeking Him and drawing nearer to Him each day. thank you for loving me unconditionally, even when i am completely unlovable. for guiding me to become a better wife and friend, thank you for the gift of motherhood, that when we first started dating 13 years ago, i didn't even know i wanted to be given the gift of kiddos!! i love that you are not perfect: you have never stayed prisoner to your imperfections & mistakes, rather they have motivated you to be an overcomer and grow and learn so to be an example to others of the grace of God and how He molds His children little by little.

i look forward to the many years we have ahead of us (at least 60, right?!!), you make me want to be a better wife and mother and Christian everyday... i love you more!!!