depraved indifference

my heart is reeling today, feeling all upside down inside....

we give each month, we look to reach out and help those in our community, we obey His command to invite people into our home and hearts--hospitality for His sake....

but i feel we're still missing it...

a depraved indifference, not because we don't care but many of the places and people God is calling us to are so far away that it isn't affecting my everyday steps

as i still am piecing together Christmas gifts for our kiddos, their three gifts just as Jesus got that Christmas day long ago, i am struck by how many today across our city, state, country, world as without basic needs--without love or hope--and when we have so much, how can i contemplate even 9 boxes under our tree when Christ called us to do unto others

wonderful Ann showed me this video and i pray if you doing nothing else on your computer today to watch this, pray and be transformed for His sake

i am unsure exactly where or what He wants me to do next, but i want to do more... i will, by His grace do more, there must be more change...

...how about you?

the relaunch....kinda

i have been up to all sorts of things over the last month and a half since i blogged last.... i know, loser!! party of one, please! well, you'll have to get over it because i have been my own biggest critic... believe me, i write a lot of posts, many unfinished or paused mid-thought because i have to wipe a nose or vacuum up craisins or take a teen to practice or play dolls, but i have been writing none the less. so this is the unofficialy re-launch of flooded by grace, so here we go :)

oh, you thought i'd have something profound to share with you tonight? sorry, rainchecks are available.....

tonight i ask you to enjoy the cutest preschooler in all of Fly Over Country doin' some praise & dancin' to KJ52.... you'll get a good giggle and i am off the hook for the evening :)

be blessed!!!

running to and fro...

okay so besides my obvious addiction to all things twilight, and by the way i have an entire post about my thoughts on twilight and if you don't care i do understand but you are totally missing out!! ahem...... anyway, we have been busy, busy, busy here in fly over country, USA.

my big kids go back to school in only 2 weeks!! i can't believe it's flown by so quickly! so last week we took our annual trip out and about to buy school clothes and shoes and hang out...

one of the many places we shopped was the mall....aaagggrrrhhh....i despise, loathe, dread the mall. something about taking three kids of varying ages, different opinions and wants, having to go into more stores than i want just to say "no" to most things, attempting to avoid all the candy, cookie and pretzel vendors, ugh! however, they were all mostly good, okay 'P' and Girlie were, of course, good....

...but 'K' on the other hand was having a rather difficult time following directions. however he and 'P' had an amazing time riding the escalator over and over and over.... and then as he bunkered himself under some shelves of jeans, his sweet sis sat next to him humming and chatting until, well see for yourself...

yep! it was way past naptime and i was totally fine with it, as least he wasn't running around pulling clothes off the rack :)

and by the way, jc penny was having an amazing sale, and no they didn't pay me to say it, but WOW! you should totally check it out...

i've also been creating several jewelry portraits for my sweet readers who won them plus a couple as gifts and i am developing a business plan and site to sell Flooded By Grace Designs... it is sure to be wonderful (i hope)...

i really liked this design with a delicate pink frame, the vintage pink roses in the background, sweet pearls with purple button accents from which to hang necklaces or rings...



and this one was a requested pink and brown palate....

and i have to say that i loved how the varying shades of pink paisley ribbon on the inside of the frame popped against the background & the frame, but i'm kinda of biased :) more importantly, what do you think? i'm really curious...

so as i prep our lives for a kid in junior high, one in third grade and lastly our little one for preschool, i am experiencing glorious anticipation about what the Lord is bringing to our lives and how He will use me... praying that He will equip me, make me worthy of the calling He has on my life.

seriously, i'm writing out my thoughts on twilight for debut tomorrow, so you won't want to miss this one....

love y'all! be blessed.....

i've got my groove back!

i am alive!! i know, i know, it has been an entire month since i last blogged, and i have so much stored up inside that i just might burst!! if you have been following me on Twitter, then you've been pretty much up-to-date with all events here, such as: packing, closing on houses, unpacking, basketball, pool, fatigue, rearranging for the millionth time, and so on.....

so yes, we sold our beautiful home on june 25th and that same afternoon signed the papers to purchase our new home. if you want a recap on our new home, i'll get there, promise!! and it has been absolute chaos since that day!! last minute issues with buyers, filling up a 24' truck two times to get everything moved and then fitting everything from a 2200 sq.ft. home into a 1500 sq.ft. home is proving to be a challenge....

however, here is our life in a few briefs photos over the last month! enjoy....

our new home is in between two parks! yes, we live smack in the middle of town now, instead of our backyard view being a cow pasture, but it honestly is even quieter outside than at the old house (aside from the ambulance sirens every now & again). but one of the super fun perks of our home is how close to the parks, the pool we are, and 'P's favorite: the locally owned donut shop!!

here's my lil' Lou-Woo Girlie playing and i swear that she gets more beautiful every single day!

big trees!! our home has 6 very large, old trees that are perfect for climbing.... this cute face was captured climbing trees while playing at the park though.... he's so stinkin' adorable and all that curly blonde hair, oh i just love it!!!

we are at the pool A LOT! ok, we weren't at the pool at all the first week we moved, and we might have gone during week 2 had it not been storming some every day!! geez, is it april showers in july?! but thankfully, it has cleared off this week and been very hot, so we have been living it up poolside....

our oldest, mr.'P', is always playing some sort of sport. he is very blessed with athletic talents, thanks be to God!! and since he is headed to jr. high this year (tear...) he had an opportunity to play on the junior high basketball team for a shootout tournament. they did amazing, playing teams from all over the area. we were incredibly proud of him and his hard work!

(he's the one in the front to the right, during warm-up drills before their 8:20am game.... which wouldn't have been so bad except this was day 3 of the tournament and last game from the night before didn't get over until 10:45pm!!)

and while we've been at the park, the pool and playing lots of basketball, there was SO much preparation for moving. have you moved recently? then you can relate to utter chaos that engulfs your existence has you pack up every scrap of your life and try to find a box to stick it in.

that last week prior to moving was hard for us: not only were we all a little teary still about leaving our home but my Man had a business trip that had been scheduled for months & months, so there was not any getting around the fact that he would be leaving that saturday morning the 19th and not return until 2 hours before closing on friday the 25th!!

so while i was doing this.....

....my Man had meetings with this man (yes, that's Jeff Gordon!)

...at all the places on the planet, he was here....

...oh yes!! he was at Disney World!! is my jealously seeping through your screen?! we had planned on escorting daddy down to florida, but with the move it wasn't even the tiniest bit possible. darn!

nevertheless, we survived that week without my Man around to help me with all the last minute preparations, but much thanks to my mama and my brothers & sisters-in-law... i got our new home painted that week and pretty much everything at the old homestead packed up.



but why is it no matter how well you think you've done in packing and organizing, that when everyone shows up to graciously help you in loading up the truck (twice...) that you "find" all these little things that you forgot about?! and with people calling your name from upstairs and downstairs asking "what do i do with this?" and "does this go in a car or get packed into the truck?" it feels that much more stressful..... and not to mention the crabbiest, most ungrateful buyers on the planet that decided to display there nastiest for all to see that day, too... but i'm not even going to tell you that story because then my hateful side will emerge and i'd like this post to be mostly 'cakes & pies' for you dear readers!!




so we got moved that very warm friday evening and had everything into our new home by midnight....


we had a birthday our first week here!! it was baby Big 'K's third birthday!! oh, how did he get so big? we had a toy story themed birthday, completed with a large buzz lightyear balloon floating around our home for days :)



here's sweet boy blowing out the candle on his birthday cupcake (we had his big party with family at nana's house the next day)....




and it is a tradition that began with 'P's first birthday, when they're little and don't have much of a say, we have a cheeseburger at mc-d's....


isn't his faux hawk hair-do just awesome?! i did actually have it cut that way because i think he wears it splendidly!



but before the birthday, before the move and before the paint, this was what my family room looked like... i so love the big picture window



and this is one of my bathrooms with its original 1961 pink floor tile (which i just adore, by the way!) and the original 1961 wallpaper (which i don't hate but can't wait to change!)

isn't it cute? can to see another sink in the back? there is a pocket door between them because there's a door from the master to the tub/sink/toliet area so we can have our privacy and if kids or guests need to wash up, brush their teeth or fix there hair they can still do that! neat, huh?

and here was my kitchen/dining prior paint and such.... it is now two delicious shades of purple and i can't wait for ya'll to see it

so in a nutshell that was what the last month consisted of... well i do have a video post for you that will walk you through the house now that i've had three weeks to organize, paint some more, decorate and re-organize again...

i've also been spending much time in the Word and in prayer, writing and trying to keep my thoughts positive. it has been a challenge to stay in a 'cupcakes & pie' sort of place when it's all a mess and there is a long list of things that need updated or fixed in a 50 year old home, but i am beginning to feel like this is "our home" and being home with my kiddos is such a wonderful blessing, even when it's hard

i have also been working on some crafts and sewing projects and i would love to reward one of you!!

here's a sneak peek....

curious?

good!!! there's a post prepped and scheduled for tonight at 9p cst and you can see the prize and enter to win!!

i can't wait to start reconnecting with everyone again and i have several posts i've been preparing that i want to share with you, so swing by tonight and enter to win!!!!

love ya much!

home sweet home...

so much has happened in the last week.....

my Man returned from a long business trip (5 days, but that is a long time to be away from my Love!) to find our home with new flooring throughout the kitchen, dining, mud room & laundry, and finally the downstairs bathroom... thanks is not enough to our awesome brothers (and sisters in laws for letting them help us, and to 'M' for watching the mighty 'K' and lil' girlie) who stepped up to install my beautiful tile while my Man was gone!! we had a deadline for ourselves to complete projects around our wonderful home in order to get it on the market for sale, so flooring was going in with or without my Man..

i absolutely love it!!! i don't want to leave now that all these projects are getting completed!! funny how many, ourselves included, wait until the house is to be sold to do projects & home improvements... we have vowed to not let that be the case in our new home... where ever that is to be...

but yes, our broken-in, fits us just right home is now officially on the market; i cried as i looked out the upstairs window at the sign that now resides in my front lawn. i love this home that my Man and i have created, by God' s grace....

...this home where we have celebrated many birthdays for our ever-growing kiddos

...this home that has seen as many colors as the inside of a crayon box, simply depending on my waivering mood and ideas from the pages of torn decor magazines

...this home where i watched my eldest learn to shoot a free-throw in the driveway, perfect fort building with his little sister and seen his heart grow as i hear him pray at night in the dark of his room

...this home where my baby girl had her first birthday, took her first steps, where i held her tight as she recovered from her surgery, and i watch her practice being a mommy through the cracked bedroom door

...this home is all my baby has ever known in his short two & a half years, he knows the floor plan by heart as he pads into my room in the wee hours to cuddle with mama til dawn, this is his castle, his safe haven of love & fun

...this home is where i lay with my Man at night and whisper my dreams and fears to his attentive ears and strong arms that hold me tight, here we've grown to know what real love is alongside real struggle and heartache

...this home where i perfected the painting of faux bricks on the walls and learned more than a painting technique but patience & endurance

...this home where God has met me in the middle of long nights: as i patted backs and rocked small children, or nursed a hungry baby, or worked on a pta project in the cold garage, as i lay nestled with my husband during the storms, or as i lay on the floor sick & crying out for his healing....He has held me up many days & nights as i trod the floors of this home...

the Lord is working many miracles in my life right now... no matter what anyone says i trust His leading, His ultimate calling on my life... i will not waive in my faith of how this walk has already been mapped out by Him and all this is His timing; what a blessing it is to know that God is so faithful to take care of His children.

please pray with us as we await the buyer for our home that God has been preparing, we've been diligently praying for them :) we are praying for the house that God has for us, as well, trusting in Him to bless us with another memory-making home... a home that we will flood with love and joy.... all by His grace that abounds in us.

what have you need of that we can join with you in prayer and faith? if you've never commented before simply chose the anonymous under 'comment as' and you're set... leave your name or don't, we will pray with you...

what's my deal?

i've been in and out of a funk the last few weeks mostly due to many of the events in and surrounding my life had me thinking and praying a lot, but i didn't feel like i could write about them yet. however, here's a snap shot of some the things that seemed to occur all within a short window of time: work has been completely, utterly overwhelming which makes my feel like i'm spending less time with my Posse and not being 'all there' for everyone in my home (and that is one of my top priorities, ya know?!), my blog pal MckMama's baby, Stellan, was not doing well and that had me praying and pondering, only to then get a call from my friend and fellow natropathic medicine researcher & user and dad to sweet Jaymun that Jaymun wasn't doing well and the CNS leukemia was bad to say the least, my Man's car died and was beyond the point of repair and he couldn't find another that he liked in the price range we wanted, i am in the midst of some ministry changes at church and trying to see where God wants me, the kids are starting school and how am i supposed to find time to do all the shopping for new clothes and supplies, will i be able to squeeze in a few more fun outings before school, had a middle of the night emergency room visit due a resurgence of the sickness & pain i have dealt with over the last year or so.... i could keep going but i won't, i'm looking over this and it's kinda a downer.

however, i serve a great big, huge amazing God who is not just lounging around in the clouds completely caught off guard by the current trials and stress in my life. my cries for discernment and understanding, rescue and relief are not a news-flash to Him.

'For I know the plans I have for,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29.11

even when i feel like all is lost and i want to crawl in a hole and just keep myself safe from all the potentially sad & difficult situations that this life has, that's not want God intended for me. Christianity is not about safety but is about freedom. the real freedom that comes with serving and surrendering my life to Jesus, even when it's hard, stressful, overwhelming, you get the point.

and with trials, large & small, comes a great testimony of the Lord's grace and provision, if i stick with Him and walk by faith then i get the pleasure of seeing the His fingerprints all over my life! let me show you:

my job:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as work for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3.22-23

most days i can honestly say that i really do enjoy my job, but the last 8 weeks or so have, oh what's the word..... sucked!!!! i'm not opposed to hard work and i think that change is a good thing, the changes in my office were a large adjustment, and it felt suffocating with a the over-the-top amounts of paperwork to complete each day, multiple meetings without any purpose, aaarrrggghhh!! and while i still am not totally onboard with the new requirements that fall under my job description, the Lord has given me extra energy when i was ready to throw-in the towel, put me in touch with business owners when i really needed an answer, grace with my managers. my days are still longer than i would prefer, but this career of mine is not permanent and i can't wait to share some upcoming changes and the Lord's leading in this area in a post very soon.....

less time and my 'not all there' feelings for my Posse and my Man:

...train the [younger] women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2. 4-5

Her children arise and call her blessed... Proverbs 31. 28a

because of the high demands of my job right now i am feeling much pressure and guilt that i have not had the adequate time to devote to my Posse and my Man. i hate feeling like my big kiddos didn't have a truly amazing summer vaca because i didn't have the time to take them to SDC more, or have more movie days, we were at the park quite a bit and the pool and they both had church camp for a week each and sports camps and piano lessons.... they had a good but rather uneventful summer. i know that this is not all bad, but i wanted more for them and more time spent with them! then of course the house was kind of chaotic and messy than i'd prefer since the big kids were running the show with 'P' as the babysitter of 'Lou-Who'. and let me say that he did a great job taking care of 'Lou-Who' for a few hours each morning while i was at the office. they spent time reading and playing together, doing their chores, having some lazy time in front of the television and so on. but i wanted to be here more, i don't like getting home late and getting 'K' from the nanny and then rushing around to get dinner made and then cleaned up, etc. of course not every day was like this and i am overly organized in our family schedule and we just planned as best we could for the longer days. i despise the aura of hurriedness in our afternoons and evenings, and i will admit that once i feel hurried and stressed nothing is really right for the reminder of the day.

do you ever just feel saddened by what you want/dream for and what you have to endure in the present? i have prayed more than a few times this summer for the Lord to help me be the best mama that my Posse needs and fill me with energy and physical strength, give me insight and words to lift up my family and bless them with my service to them, even if some of that service is providing for them outside the homestead.

when i have days like this, i would & do have to step back and get ahold of my thoughts and my tongue and make choices to edify my Posse and my Man. my attitude and words will either bring life or death to my family, so i must stay close to my Jesus. i'm ashamed to say that many times my stress makes my words louder and more harsh than i'd like, and thus where i need to take my kiddos in hand and say i'm sorry and i will do better, with the Lord's help. i'm reminded that i need to be a Mary at the feet of Jesus allowing Him to pour into me so i can pour out on my babes, instead of Martha who is OCD about whether the dinner is done at 6p sharp

'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.' Luke 10.41-42

the questions, concerns and uncertainity for friends with sick little ones:

I will restore your health and heal you of your wounds. Jeremiah 30.17

i will admit to that i felt such a burden when cutie baby Stellan was in the hospital a few weeks back with a terrible prognosis & health that was quickly decreasing. i was overcome with questions as to why the Lord was not intervening yet and praying for healing for Stellan like a crazy person. and then little Jaymun was back in the hospital out of the blue with the horrifying news that the cancer had relapsed, again. and i was overwhelmed with grief for him and the whole Kaat family.

does the Lord lay situations and families on your heart that you are to hold up in prayer? these two families are amazing and i (like thousands of others) am called to intercede to the Father on their behalf, holding them up and laying it all at the feet of Jesus, praying without ceasing for the healings that Stellan and Jaymun need. believing by faith that the Lord is true to His Word that He is our Healer!!

i am so happy and ectastic to report that Stellan was saved from the current danger with his broken heart and you can always check in on him at his mommy's blog!!! within just a few days the Lord rescued him from a perilous run of SVT. it was amazing to literally watch a miracle be performed right in front of my eyes!! i've got goose-bumps! and sweet Jaymun is not out of the woods, however he is defying the odds for a third time, yes i said this is his third bout of leukemia and he's only three. what 10+ treatments couldn't fix with his CNS relapse before, this time through the leading and mercy of Jesus, the chemo mixed with herbs and other natural medicines has gotten the blasts down to ZERO!!! he is in need of our prayers and petitions because despite great test results he is back in the hospital tonight with a possible infection that could cause menigitisis. thank you Jesus for hearing our cries, for being so near to your children that are brokenhearted and sick, but we are not defeated because you Lord are our victory!!

my Man's car died:

completely unable to be fixed. darn.... it was an unwanted stress to have to go out and buy a car that we did not intend to. and while it was a difficult two weeks of searching and praying and questioning what to do and why? the Lord heard and provided a near brand new SUV for my hubby at a low, low cost. thank you Jesus for caring about all the details of our life.

i know that your retinas are bleeding profusely at this point and i'm going to wrap this up, promise scout's honor!!

all of this to hopefully encourage your heart and soul today with the promise that the Lord wants to bless your life and He brings hope when you feel none. here's my two cents though: don't rely on your feelings, they will lie to you every time. if i only made dinner when i felt like it, it is quite possible that my Posse might never eat! i will serve the Lord regardless of how i feel because it says in His Word that He will never leave me or forsake me!! i might feel crushed and squished down by all the trials and hardships this earthly life brings, but this place, earth, is not my home, it is only temporary, and i am living for eternity!!!

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever, AMEN (emphasis is all me!) Ephesians 3.20-21

---------------------------

for your viewing pleasure for sticking it out through that long post... baby 'K' snuck into 'Lou-Who's tent where her babies were sleeping and he wanted to feed them. he is so stinkin' cute!!!

changes are here!

change is good... say it with me, change is good! and yes the 'flooded' blog is different, huh? when i first created the site i wasn't quite sure what i liked or wanted or what in the world i was doing! ahem, excuse that little outburst... so if you have stopped by a couple times over the last day or so you've seen a couple different layouts and colors. but this is what i am very pleased with at least for today, some coloring might vary here and there, but i love my family and when i look at this most recent family picture i am overwhelmed by the grace and mercy and blessings that the Lord has so graciously poured out on me and my Man. and that's what this blog is about: being a blessing to all who read, whether i can encourage your heart and walk with Christ, give you a tip on organic cooking, a new decorating idea or make you laugh with a cute photo of the Posse of Kiddos. and secondly i want to use this space to tell of God's great and awesome works, to bring Him glory in my mothering and serving of my Man, in my ministry, as a pta mama or in my painting of many colors throughout my home!!

leave a comment, let me know what you think. and if you're having an issue leaving a comment, use the 'open' option or just quickly sign up for a google user name and it will be that much easier!!! the next post will spark a contest to win a Hobby Lobby gift card (my fav place to by decorating stuff!) and you will have to leave a comment and sign up to follow me (lower left sidebar) to be eligible to win, so get to it... smiles and good night :)