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Showing posts with label new year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new year. Show all posts

Monday, January 16, 2012

some new year's thoughts

i so rarely write here anymore, simple laziness i suppose. i write every day, i love opening a journal and pulling out an ocean blue pen to script my day's list and thoughts and needs, hopes and dreams spill across a crisp page in which i have glued torn magazine pictures of my favorite flowers or shoes. typing even simply family updates feels sterile to me, always has but i swore to push through it and that the discipline would somehow change the very fabric of my being....i'm a pen and paper girl. if you could only peek into my bedroom and see the tower of scribbled journals teetering next to my nightstand, it would confirm this confession....


however, it's difficult to put those worn pages onto the screen and i really have the desire to share, to live in community with friends near and far, with those i might never meet...create another form of keepsake memories for my kids, for myself.







so in the grand tradition of setting new goals for a fresh new year, i'm promisimg to put my handwriting to the keyboard, even just for a moment a couple times a week. this form of electronic scrapbooking, it's stretching myself to reveal my heart, my mundane tasks, it's a form of ministry for myself, my family, hopefully encouragement for others or at the very least provides a smile.




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so as we are all venturing out into 2012, looking ahead to what is to be, are you filled with joyful anticipation or hesitancy? trusting that the best is yet to come or longing for what was?






what is it that God whats to do in you in 2012?



i know for me this year will be life-changing! isn't that what walking alongside Christ is supposed to be anyway? just like paul writes in Romans 8, "This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" it's living with expectation of God's goodness, trusting that if He sacrificed nothing to bring us into communion with Him by sending Christ for us, that He is able to be all that we need in 2012!






i know that He is drawing me in closer to Him, whispering love over me and asking for my hand as i travel down new paths. when i ask for the provision of physical and emotional strength to birth and raise another babe, He is there just waiting to provide. i look at this family He has entrusted to me, i tend to get a bit weak in the knees, overwhelmed with all that needs tended to, all this raising of teens and tweens and preschoolers and newborns, husbands that needs encouragement and love, time and caring too. He is there and He never told me i'd have to do it all and that His Grace is more than enough (Phillipians)






my words for the year are Mercy and Grace....that i remember that His mercies are new each day, that the Lord extends His mercy over my faults consistently, that by His grace i am made whole, that His grace is everywhere should i choose to see it....all is Grace, gifts, thanksgiving...Mercy abundant and unconditional for His children




share your word for the year, your goals and dreams, for He is able to 'do more than we could ever imagine or guess or request in our wildest dreams' (Ephesians 3), so let us not hold back and dream a big dream for God's Glory!

Friday, January 1, 2010

my God-sized dreams...

a brand new year.... these first few days of a crisp new year are always a time of reflection for me and thoughts about what will come in the following year; it is a door waiting to be opened...



there are numerous goals and aspirations that i have for 2010, i am filled with anticipation for what God has for me and my Man and our Posse of Kiddos. i also sit here typing in bed, pondering the clean & spotless new calendar set before me with some anxiety and pessimism. i truly hate to admit that to you, but it's the truth... i struggle with what roads to take, do i turn left or right, or right & three-quarters, or maybe not quite... and no i am not that poetic :) i'll give credit to the genius that is dr.seuss from Oh! The Places You'll Go!!... however, do you feel what i'm saying?


... how do i get from where i am now to where God wants me to be?


i want so desperately from the very utter core of my soul to serve God with all that i am, to diligently seek after Him, that His will would be fully worked out in and through my life, that He would get all the glory and praise!!! does your heart yearn for Him deeply? oh, mine does!! now that doesn't mean that i am walking some walk of perfection and holy righteousness... no ma'am!! it does mean that i strive in all things to grow closer to Him, that by His Grace i might become more obedient, loving, compassionate, wiser, patient... i could go on in all the ways i need Jesus to continue transforming me.


so there is this part of me that whilst i find such peace and contentment in loving and serving and living for God, i am still struggling with exhibiting and maintaining a fully joyous outlook right now. i feel full of chaos and uncertainity; i do not like chaos and uncertainity. i so love my lists, all organized and labeled and color-coded, i love planning, i love structure. i am looking to God to give me answers and direction... and yet i feel like i'm standing out on the edge of the cliff, i lick my finger to see which way the wind is blowing, i check my compass, i look around.... hello? answer, direction, anyone?!


but maybe i already know God's will for me right now. maybe it is as plain as the nose on my cute toddler's face!! but what if i'm wrong? what if my dreams aren't what God really has for us, what if... what if... what if... i could do this all day, ya know?!


God is the God of the Impossible!! He is the Miracle-Working Lord that has amazing plans for me (Jeremiah 29.11) and if i'm walking with Him then these dreams are possibly what He has laid on my heart!!! why not dream something BIG and do something GREAT for God?!?!


"God can do anything, you know--far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." Ephesians 3.20 The Message


so what are my God-sized dreams for 2010? here's the short list...


that i will officially be a stay-at-home mama very soon! -- that our home would sell within 30 days of getting it on the market (we plan to get it on the market by the end of January) for the listing price -- i believe God will give us a new home the size we need at the price we need -- i want to overflowingly grow in my ability to love the lost and other Christians in need of encouragement -- as i work on raising funds for the Jaymun Foundation i want to find donors to contribute $250,000 within the next six months -- i want total and complete physical healing! -- i want to have more memory-making ordinary days with my kiddos...


i think i could keep typing for hours on what i would love to see God do in my life, my marriage, my parenting, my ministries...


...but mostly i just want Him. i want more of God, i want to reveal His amazing love and forgiveness, i want to abound in joy because He wants me to know happiness and joy and real freedom in surrendering all i am to Him!!


whatever tomorrow brings, it will be because God allowed in my life, because His provisions for me are to bring me to a closer walk with Him, that while He carries me through the trials and uncertainity i'll learn to trust Him more and find the beauty in total surrender... welcome 2010